Have you ever gotten so lost in a memory that even your senses were involved? It becomes as if you could smell the room, see things as clearly as if they were just happening, hear ever little sound. When the memory passes you are left with the realization that maybe you did not appreciate it as much in real time as you should have, and you vow to never make that mistake again.
In my younger years, I loved the elements of summer. Festivals, beer gardens, boating, motorcycles, beaches, bikinis, and every thing that makes warm weather fun for a young man finding his way. Over the years, its crazy how much that can change, and sometimes its because of a simple memory. As men, we tend not to appreciate subtle nuances of romanticism in favor of just going with the moment. Some things though can become powerful memories that have lasting effects. In hindsight I can recall perfectly the day I went from being a summer bum to a winter romantic, and it was something that most fellas probably take for granted. Men, appreciate your lady and every little quirk she has.
It was a chilly Saturday nearing Christmas with snow falling, and lots on the ground. We chose to get out for a little while just to do something. The plan was to quickly hit a small winery, sit by the fire and enjoy a couple glasses while we watched it snow, do some Christmas shopping, grab dinner, take in some Christmas lights, and catch a movie. The plan was to be out the door at a specific time, but with some women there is no specific time until every thing is perfect.
My thinking at the time is throw on a pair of jeans grab a jacket and lets go, but as I sat on the couch waiting…well past our expected departure time, I really paid attention to the transformation. See it isn’t just throw on jeans, but they have to be the right color and fit. It isn’t just grab a sweater like a man would do, but it has to be the right sweater to fit the mood of the day, plus it determines what boots and scarf we are wearing. So I watch this transformation of one sweater to another, one pair of boots to another, finding just the right bracelets, and the perfect complementary scarf. The matching earrings come next, the hair falls over the scarf and is lightly touched up to perfection, the slightest hint of perfume, and the makeup is finely finished. My irritation at starting out late was rising, and the retort was “You want me to look good with you right?”
The rest of the day that was my focus. Over wine, over dinner, in the theatre, walking around the stores, and driving through the snow in 4 wheel drive enjoying the Christmas light displays. Maybe it was for my benefit, maybe not, but it didn’t matter. I was proud to be next to her, and she made it so. I learned a valuable lesson that day to never rush to make a planned deadline if it costs missing out on the process it takes to make something perfect. The saying is true. It’s the journey not the destination that makes something memorable. I have learned to appreciate little details that tickle the senses, which stimulate memories for years to come. I have learned to say what is on my mind while I have the opportunity to do so. I have learned that it’s ok to be a tough guy and still embrace the romanticism of small things.
Memories can be very powerful tools. They can tear you down, they can build you up, they can get you through tough times, they can change your perceptions, and they can teach you lessons. Men, learn a lesson and appreciate the little details your lady stresses over…you’ll miss them if they’re gone.
Blessings.
Troy P Zehnder 