This is the time of year when I go into reflection mode. Actually, the mode starts around Thanksgiving and lasts until the last Christmas lights of the season come down. Each family has their traditions, and in some cases the same events and activities get passed down from one generation to the next. In many cases, due to family dynamics or relocation, carrying on beloved traditions are left solely to the memory.
I believe it is true of most families that holiday activities revolve around the grand parents, especially if the families are in a commutable distance. When the grand parents are gone, the next in line get to carry on or develop their own traditions and memories… or are left with remembering days of Christmases past.
As an adult, I am able to recognize in hindsight how blessed and fortunate I was as a child. One side of my family lived in the same town, and 75% of the other side lived within 30 miles of each other. The perfect distance for making holiday memories. It almost seems silly how just a few events can hover in your mind like a heavy fog which immediately brings back sounds, smells, tastes, and emotions of things experienced decades earlier, but that is what humans do. For better or worse, some memories are ingrained forever.
The weather has changed a lot since my childhood. I seem to remember the weather being much colder in November and December, often with snow already on the ground by the time Christmas rolled around. If not every year, then a good number of them at least had snow at some point. Post Thanksgiving was the time when the decorations went up. The twinkling lights of the Christmas tree, the electric candles lighting up every window well in the house, and a calming warmth of the gas furnace throwing out heat on those bitter cold days.
My parents always made sure I was active in the youth groups at our church. Whether I wanted to be or not at that time was irrelevant.. I was doing it…. and in hindsight, I’m grateful. I still hold the memories of youth choir going Christmas caroling around town, to senior centers or shut ins, or the elderly that couldn’t get out to church. Almost always there was a treat of cookies or something for us, and remembering the smiles on the faces of some of the elderly people is still heart warming years later. Caroling was usually wrapped up with a fun little Christmas party with games, gifts, and food. Something perhaps insignificant for some, but it’s left its mark to this day.
Almost every year following the Christmas Eve church service was a time for family fellowship. Even if we attended different churches the grand parents, uncles and aunts, and cousins always found their way to a predetermined home for the year to enjoy family fellowship, food and drinks. It isn’t the conversations that a child remembers years later, but the gathering. Of course this was the pre-Christmas gathering. The big event followed the next day. After gifts were opened, like most families, every one bundled up and packed up the car to head to Christmas dinner. I remember doing afternoon dinners with one side of the family, then heading in another direction for an evening dinner with the other side of the family. The gift exchanges were always fun for us kids ( I got a new basketball every year. That was my one guarantee, and I loved every minute of it), but we don’t remember them as much as the bonding. It was a special time for me, and more so in hindsight.
As is life, nothing lasts forever. Family members pass on, and those memories can never be re-lived. Those moments can never be gotten back. It happens with every family, and my Christmas wish is that everyone who reads this is able to share in a special family tradition with your loved ones. That you embrace every memory you get a chance to make. That you make amends for at least a day to say I love you… and that you take in every sight, smell, and sound until it is ingrained in your subconscious for you never know when it will be the last one. To my family and friends that I have shared so many memories with, I want to say thank you, I love you all, and I am/was very blessed to have/had you in my life. Merry Christmas and may God shine his light and blessings on you in the new year.
Troy P Zehnder 