Troy P Zehnder

Last week I did a short series on forgiveness. This week I am focusing on what the Bible says about love. Part one will cover “The Gentle Art of Patience.”

Patience, they say, is a virtue, a quality that speaks volumes about the depth of our character. But often, it feels like a distant ideal, something we admire in others but struggle to embody ourselves. We live in a world that thrives on instant gratification, where patience is viewed as weakness and delayed fulfillment is considered a failure. Yet, in the tapestry of love, patience weaves the threads of understanding, grace, and endurance.

The Bible, in its wisdom, speaks of patience not as an act of passive resignation but as an active choice, a deliberate engagement with the challenges of life and relationships. In 1 Corinthians 13:4, Paul writes, “Love is patient.” He doesn’t simply say love has patience; he says love is patient. This implies a fundamental truth: patience is an integral part of the very essence of love. It’s not just a trait we tack on to our relationships; it’s a cornerstone upon which they are built.

Remember the old adage, “Good things come to those who wait?” It’s not simply a comforting platitude but a reflection of the beauty of patience. As we wait, we learn to cultivate a deeper understanding of ourselves and the people we love. We learn to navigate the complexities of life with grace and resilience.

Patience, however, doesn’t mean passive resignation. It’s not about accepting unacceptable behaviors or tolerating
disrespect. True patience, as taught by Scripture, is rooted in love and compassion. It’s about holding on to hope in the midst of adversity, about trusting in the process of growth and change, even when it’s slow and painful. It’s about extending grace to ourselves and others, understanding that we all stumble and fall along the way.

I recall a time in my own life when I grappled with the concept of patience. I was in the midst of a challenging relationship, and my frustration levels were skyrocketing. I wanted things to change immediately, I wanted the conflict to disappear, I wanted everything to be perfect. But the reality was, change takes time, and perfection is a fleeting illusion.

One day, as I was pouring over Scripture, I stumbled upon a passage in Romans 5:3-5: “Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us.” This passage, which at first glance seemed counterintuitive, became a turning point in my journey. It taught me that suffering, when embraced with faith, can lead to growth and resilience. It taught me that patience, in the midst of challenges, can become a catalyst for hope and transformation.

It wasn’t easy, but I began to practice patience. I learned to take a deep breath, to step back from the conflict, to focus on the love that undergirded the relationship. I learned to offer grace, not just to the other person, but also to myself. And slowly, almost imperceptibly, things began to change.

The journey wasn’t linear. There were setbacks, frustrations, and moments of despair. But through it all, I learned the power of patience. I learned that it’s not about simply waiting; it’s about waiting with hope, with love, and with an unwavering belief in the transformative power of time. Patience, in essence, is a form of love. It’s about acknowledging the imperfections of ourselves and the people we love, and embracing the process of growth and change. It’s about understanding that every relationship, every journey, is a tapestry woven with threads of both joy and sorrow. It’s about trusting that even in the midst of darkness, there is always the potential for light to emerge.

As we cultivate patience in our lives, we begin to see the world differently. We see beyond the surface, we appreciate the beauty of the journey, and we discover the power of love in its most profound expression. We learn to embrace the slow, steady rhythm of life, knowing that true growth and lasting change often come in unexpected and often unhurried ways.

Anecdotes and Reflections: To illustrate the power of patience, let me share a few personal anecdotes that have shaped my understanding of this virtue:

The Slow Bloom of Friendship:
I once met a woman at a church gathering who seemed quiet and reserved. At first, I found her difficult to connect with. But something about her gentle spirit drew me to her. We began to spend time
together, and slowly, our friendship blossomed. It took time, patience, and a willingness to see beyond initial impressions. Today, she is one of my closest confidantes, a testament to the power of patience in forging meaningful connections.

Waiting on God’s Timing:
In my younger years, I struggled with impatience. I wanted everything immediately, I wanted to achieve my goals without delay, and I wanted my prayers answered in a timeframe that fit my own agenda. But as I matured in my faith, I came to understand that God works on his own timetable. He often leads us through detours and challenges, not because he delights in our suffering, but because he knows these experiences can shape us into the people he intends us to be.

The Art of Patient Communication:
In my work as a pastor, I’ve had countless opportunities to witness the power of patient communication. When couples come to me
seeking guidance, I often find that their conflicts stem from miscommunication and a lack of patience to truly listen to each other. By practicing patient listening, by seeking to understand the other person’s perspective, they are able to build bridges of understanding and find resolution.

Reflective Prompts:

As you reflect on the concept of patience, consider the following questions: In what areas of your life do you struggle with impatience? How might these struggles be hindering your growth or relationships? How can you cultivate more patience in your interactions with others? What are some specific actions you can take to practice patience in your daily life? What are some examples of patience in the lives of those around you? What lessons can you learn from their experiences?

The Transformative Power of Patience:

Patience, while challenging at times, is a transformative virtue. It unlocks the door to deeper understanding, stronger relationships, and a more fulfilling life. It empowers us to navigate the complexities of life with grace, compassion, and an unwavering belief in the beauty of God’s timing. It’s a virtue worth cultivating, a journey worth embarking on. For as we learn to wait with love and grace, we begin to experience the true meaning of love’s patience.