Let’s be honest. The “elephant in the room” isn’t just that some young people are causing trouble in public. It’s that, in far too many cases, there’s no dad at home. No male role model. No one to set boundaries, lay down consequences, and teach respect.
And the thing is, you don’t have to take my word for it. The numbers don’t lie.
The Family Structure Snapshot
In the U.S., 71% of kids live with two parents. That leaves roughly 9.8 million in one-parent households, about 7.3 million with mom only and 2.5 million with dad only. That’s not just a census statistic. It’s a cultural fault line.
What the Research Says (and Doesn’t Say)
- Single-parent homes vs. nuclear families: Kids in single-parent homes, mother-only or father-only, tend to show more behavior problems and higher delinquency than kids in two-parent homes. That’s straight from peer-reviewed criminology research. But here’s the key: once you control for resources, supervision, and closeness, the gap shrinks… a lot.
- Single-father homes: Some studies show single-father households sometimes look more like nuclear families in child outcomes than single-mother homes. But before anyone gets smug, there’s a catch. Fathers who win custody are often the most capable, stable, and involved men out there. In other words, there’s a selection bias. You can’t compare the “average” single mom, often battling uphill with fewer resources, to a single dad who’s already proven himself in court and in life.
- The Bible agrees fathers matter — Ephesians 6:4 says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” That’s leadership. But Scripture doesn’t say mothers don’t matter. Proverbs 1:8 reminds us not to forsake a mother’s teaching. God’s design is partnership.
The Real Problem
This isn’t about blaming single moms. Many of them are carrying the weight of two parents without the support they deserve. This is about what happens when men vanish from their God-given role. The absence of an engaged father leaves a vacuum, and in that vacuum, discipline, respect, and stability tend to evaporate. That’s when the streets, screens, and bad influences step in to do the “raising.”
The Path Forward
- Rebuild Fatherhood: Encourage and equip men to step up, whether they’re married, divorced, or mentoring kids in the community.
- Support Single Parents: Give moms (and dads) the resources, community, and breaks they need.
- Model Respect at Home: Two parents, one parent, foster, blended, whatever the setup, engaged parenting with boundaries works.
FAQ: Anticipating the Pushback
Q: Is this about race?
A: No. This is about structure, not skin color. Fatherlessness cuts across every demographic, and so does the fallout.
Q: Are you attacking single mothers?
A: Absolutely not. Many single moms are heroes, doing the job of two with grit and grace. The issue is that society has allowed, and in some cases normalized, absentee fatherhood. That’s the target here.
Q: So is fatherhood more important than motherhood?
A: No, both are vital. But the data, and the Bible, show that fathers have a unique and irreplaceable role in discipline, protection, and leadership in the home. Losing that has consequences.
Bottom line: Family structure matters. Male influence matters. But what matters most is engaged, present, godly parenting, the kind that shows up every day, disciplines in love, and refuses to let the streets define our kids.
Troy P Zehnder 