We all carry memories, some we treasure, some we try to outrun, and some that come crashing back at the worst possible moments. Ask someone to share their worst memory, and it usually comes out instantly. Ask them for their best, and they pause… they look upward… they sort through the cluttered shelves of their mind trying to find it.
Why is that? Why do the painful memories sit right at the surface while the joyful ones hide deeper inside? Why do flashbacks come out of nowhere? And if memories can hurt us, why did God give them to us at all? Let’s break it down.
1. Memories Are Not Just Stories, They’re Survival Mechanisms
Our minds are wired with something psychologists call the negativity bias. It simply means this:
Your brain gives more weight to pain than to pleasure.
Not because you are broken. Not because you are weak. But because God designed the human mind to recognize danger, learn from it, and remember it quickly. Bad memories stay sharp because they once protected you.
Good memories, on the other hand, are more like sunlight, warm, meaningful, beautiful… but easy to miss if clouds pass by.
2. Why Flashbacks Happen
A flashback isn’t your mind attacking you. It’s your mind saying: “Something here feels familiar. Stay alert.” Your senses, smell, sound, sight, tone of voice, trigger old emotional files you didn’t know were still open. It’s not weakness. It’s a biological safety feature.
But there’s a spiritual side, too: Sometimes God allows an old memory to surface so you can finally deal with it, heal from it, or see it from a wiser perspective than when you first lived it.
3. Why the Bad Overpowers the Good
Good memories lift your heart, but they also create longing.
You remember the laughter, the closeness, the joy… and some part of you wishes you could step back into it. Bad memories, though? They’re loud because they demand emotional attention. They were tied to lessons, pain, identity, loss, or boundaries you needed to learn.
The human heart often gets stuck between two forces:
- Pain from what hurt you.
- Longing for what you lost.
Either way, you’re pulled away from the present moment.
4. The Spiritual Purpose of Memory
God didn’t create memory to imprison you. He created it to shape you. Scripture says:
“Remember the former things, those of long ago.”
— Isaiah 46:9
and also:
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.”
— Isaiah 43:18
It seems contradictory… until you understand the deeper truth:
➡️ We are called to remember what God has done
But
➡️ We are not called to live inside what we cannot change.
Memory is meant to be a teacher, not a home.
5. The Real Problem: We Try to Return to Memories
A memory is supposed to guide you, not hold you hostage. But when the past feels more comforting, or more painful, than the present, we start trying to live inside the memory, as if it’s a place we can walk back into. That’s when memories become heavy. God never intended for you to escape into past joys or drown in past hurts. He intended for memories to:
- Build wisdom
- Strengthen compassion
- Teach discernment
- Remind you of His faithfulness
- Prepare you for future purpose
Your memories are tools, not traps.
6. So What Do We Do When Memories Hurt?
We redeem them. Not erase them. Not deny them. Not pretend they never mattered. Redeeming a memory means you stop asking:
“Why did this happen to me?”
and start asking:
“What is God shaping in me because of it?”
Painful memories become testimonies. Beautiful memories become gratitude. Even confusing memories become stepping stones. Nothing is wasted in God’s hands, not even what broke you.
⭐ Final Thought
Your memories, both good and bad, are part of your shaping. They remind you of where you’ve been, what you’ve survived, how deeply you can love, and how faithfully God can restore. You don’t need to delete your past. You only need to stop living in it.
Because God isn’t finished writing your story yet, and the chapters ahead still need the wisdom you gained from the ones behind you.
Troy P Zehnder 