Troy P Zehnder

My heart’s been heavy lately with past experiences, memories, and situations beyond my control. I’ve hoped, I’ve tried, I’ve lost, I’ve cried. I’ve prayed, I’ve won, I’ve longed for one. I’ve survived things I shouldn’t have, and watched others pass to soon and unexpectedly. Never having their chance to say their one last word. I was thinking how sometimes soldiers are told to write their own obituary prior to a combat action, and wondered if anyone ever contemplated their own. If tonight, I didn’t make it home…what would I want to say?

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On the day I die, don’t shed a tear,
I’m not in pain, I’m far from here.
I’m with my Master, whole and free,
In light, in love, eternally.

I’ve left behind the best of me—
The love, the laughs, the legacy.
I gave my heart, I gave my time,
I did my best to live divine.

I tried to lift where others fell,
To mend the cracks, to ring the bell.
To speak a truth, to be a light,
To turn the darkness into sight.

I’m sorry to those I disappointed—
But I always meant well, never disjointed.
I wondered if anyone truly knew
The soul inside, the quiet view.

If you wonder if things left unsaid were known,
They weren’t—I carried them alone.
Being strong for others takes its toll,
And often hides a weary soul.

When I listened to you, I gave my all—
Both ears, a heart—no curtain, no wall.
So don’t mourn for me now that I’m out of your reach,
When I was here, I was longing to teach.

Yet still, there’s things I couldn’t do,
Dreams too big to chase with two.
Tear-stained hopes that slipped away,
Not for lack of heart—but none would stay.

So don’t lament that I am gone,
Or dwell on things left said too long.
You had your chance to take my hand,
To walk with me, to understand.

But “someday” came and passed us by,
And now you look with wistful eye.
Time is short, it does not bend,
It doesn’t pause, it will not lend.

So take this lesson carved in stone:
Don’t leave love’s seed unsown, unknown.
Appreciate the gift you hold—
Before it turns from warm to cold.

For now I rest, my spirit flies,
Beyond the reach of Earthly cries.
Be better, love deeper, live wise and true—
And think of me when skies turn blue.