There is a garter snake that lives under my driveway. At least I think it’s the same snake.
Every summer when I mow the lawn, I know roughly where his hiding spot is. Before I get too close with the mower, I walk through the grass and make a little extra noise. Not enough to scare him, just enough to let him know I’m coming.
A few moments later, I usually see him slither back into his hole. Then I mow the grass. A few years ago, I probably would have handled that situation differently. In fact, if I’m being honest, a younger version of me might have grabbed a shovel. Snake equals danger. Problem solved.
But somewhere along the way, my perspective changed. He’s just a garter snake. He’s not bothering anyone. He’s not plotting world domination. He’s not trying to ruin my day. He’s simply trying to live his life. In fact, he’s probably doing me a favor by helping keep the rodent population around my house under control. So now, before I mow the lawn, I make sure he has a chance to get out of the way.
As I thought about that recently, it occurred to me that my feelings toward that snake have changed for the same reason my feelings toward a lot of things have changed over the years. The older I get, the more I realize that most living creatures are simply trying to survive another day.
The deer that wander through my yard aren’t trying to destroy my landscaping. They’re looking for food. The squirrels aren’t stealing birdseed because they’re criminals. They’re hungry. The rabbits aren’t trying to dig holes just to annoy me. They’re trying to make a home.
And if I’m honest, most people aren’t much different. The coworker having a bad day. The customer who seems impatient. The person who cuts us off in traffic. The friend carrying wounds we can’t see. Most of them aren’t waking up every morning asking how they can make our lives difficult. They’re just trying to get through another day with whatever burdens they’re carrying.
The truth is, every person you meet is fighting battles you know nothing about. Some are visible. Most are not. The older I get, the less interested I am in judging people and the more interested I am in understanding them. That doesn’t mean bad behavior should be excused. It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have boundaries. It simply means I’ve learned that compassion often begins where assumptions end.
Maybe that’s one of the gifts that comes with age. When we’re young, we tend to see the world in categories. Friend or enemy. Useful or useless. Good or bad. As we get older, we begin to see complexity. We begin to realize that life is hard for almost everyone. Some people hide it better than others.
So now, every summer, I warn the snake before I mow the lawn. Not because I love snakes. Not because I want one in my house. But because he’s just trying to live his life.
And the older I get, the more I realize most of us are.
If this resonated with you, I explore a deeper version in “Beyond Blame.” Available on Amazon.
Troy P Zehnder 