You Don’t Have to Have the Worst Life to Be Having the Worst Day of Yours
There is a phrase we say when life becomes overwhelming. “I know other people have it worse.” I’ve said it. You’ve probably said it. Maybe we’re trying to keep things in perspective. Maybe we’re reminding ourselves to be grateful. Maybe we feel guilty admitting that we’re struggling when we know someone else is facing something seemingly worse.
But I’ve started thinking about that phrase differently. Of course someone has it worse. Someone always has it worse. But that doesn’t mean what you’re carrying isn’t heavy. Suffering isn’t a competition. There isn’t a scoreboard somewhere determining who has earned the right to hurt.
And perhaps one of the greatest mistakes we make is assuming everyone should be capable of carrying the same amount of weight. They aren’t. Neither are we.
Everyone Has a Breaking Point
Two people can experience exactly the same event and respond completely differently. One might shrug it off. The other might feel as though their entire world has collapsed. That doesn’t necessarily mean one is stronger than the other. Because we’re never dealing with only the thing someone can see.
We’re carrying everything that came before it. The financial pressure. The argument nobody knows about. The parent we’re worried about. The medical appointment we’re waiting for. The job that may disappear. The relationship that’s falling apart. The bill sitting unopened on the counter. The mistake we can’t undo. The person we miss. The responsibility everyone assumes we can handle because we’ve always handled it before. Sometimes what looks like a small problem from the outside is simply the final weight placed on someone who was already carrying everything they could hold.
And then someone says: “Other people have it worse.” They probably do. But that doesn’t make your load weigh any less.
Pain Doesn’t Check Your Bank Account
We sometimes associate struggle with circumstances. Poor people struggle. Sick people struggle. Unemployed people struggle. People going through divorce struggle. People grieving struggle. And they certainly do. But wealthy people struggle too. Healthy people struggle. Successful people struggle. Married people struggle. Pastors struggle. Executives struggle. Parents struggle. People surrounded by friends can feel completely alone.
Someone can live in a beautiful house and lie awake wondering how they’re going to keep it. Someone can have plenty of money and be terrified they’re losing their marriage. Someone can have a successful career and wonder whether they’re failing everywhere that actually matters. Someone can look perfectly fine in every picture they post and privately wonder how much longer they can keep pretending everything is okay.
Money can solve many problems. Health eliminates others. Relationships can provide tremendous support. But nobody gets through life without eventually encountering something they don’t know how to handle.
Everyone is carrying something.
Sometimes the Strongest Person in the House Is Struggling the Most
There is another kind of struggle we don’t talk about enough. It’s the person who believes they aren’t allowed to fall apart. The provider. The protector. The parent. The spouse. The person everyone calls when something goes wrong. Everyone looks at them and sees strength. So, they remain strong.
They go to work. They make dinner. They answer the questions. They solve the problems. They tell everyone: “We’ll figure it out.” And maybe everyone goes to bed believing them. Then the house gets quiet. And the person who assured everyone else that everything would be okay lies there staring at the ceiling thinking: I have absolutely no idea how I’m going to do this.
You don’t cry because you don’t want the family to hear you. Maybe you don’t physically cry at all. Sometimes you cry on the inside. Because tomorrow morning you’re supposed to wake up and be strong again. People are depending on you. You have responsibilities. You have bills. You have people looking at you for reassurance.
So, you carry something privately that nobody around you realizes has become almost too heavy to hold. And eventually the question isn’t: “How do I fix my life?” It’s much simpler.
“God, how am I going to make it through tomorrow?”
Maybe You Don’t Need Tomorrow’s Answer Today
Jesus said something that sounds remarkably different when life is going well than it does when you’re barely holding things together:
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
— Matthew 6:34
I’ve always found something interesting about that verse. Jesus didn’t say tomorrow wouldn’t have trouble. He actually said the opposite. Tomorrow has trouble. But tomorrow isn’t here yet. Sometimes we’re trying to carry today’s problems and tomorrow’s problems simultaneously.
How will I pay that bill? What happens if I don’t get the job? What if the test comes back positive? What if this relationship doesn’t survive? What happens next month? What happens next year? What happens if everything I’m trying doesn’t work?
Those are real questions. But they’re tomorrow’s questions. And maybe God isn’t asking you to solve them tonight.
Give Us This Day
There’s another line Christians have repeated for two thousand years that I’ve begun to appreciate differently:
“Give us this day our daily bread.”
— Matthew 6:11
Daily. Not yearly. Not even monthly. Today. We would probably prefer God to hand us a folder containing the complete plan for the next five years. I’d settle for six months. Sometimes I’d happily take six weeks. But that’s rarely how faith works.
Sometimes God gives us enough for today. Then tomorrow comes… and somehow there’s enough for tomorrow. Not always the way we expected. Not necessarily the way we wanted. Sometimes provision is money. Sometimes it’s an opportunity. Sometimes it’s another person. Sometimes it’s a phone call. Sometimes it’s an unexpected extension. Sometimes it’s a door opening just as another one closes. And sometimes the provision isn’t removing the problem at all. Sometimes God simply gives us enough strength to walk through it.
Somehow, You Made It to Today
Think about the things you once believed you couldn’t survive. There were probably days when you genuinely didn’t know what you were going to do. Days when you couldn’t see an answer. Days when the future terrified you. Days when you prayed because you’d exhausted every solution you could think of. And yet… you’re here.
That doesn’t mean everything worked out exactly as you wanted. Some things didn’t. Some losses remained losses. Some relationships ended. Some prayers weren’t answered the way you hoped. Some wounds left scars. But somehow you reached today. Maybe that matters when you’re afraid of tomorrow. Because the God who got you through everything behind you hasn’t disappeared simply because you can’t see what’s ahead of you.
You Don’t Know What Someone Else Is Carrying
And maybe understanding our own struggles should change how we see everyone else’s. The cashier who seems distracted. The coworker who’s unusually quiet. The person who didn’t return your call. The friend who canceled plans. The stranger who wasn’t particularly friendly. The person sitting beside you at church who smiled when you said good morning. You have no idea what happened before they walked into the room.
You don’t know what bill they opened. You don’t know what the doctor told them. You don’t know what their spouse said. You don’t know what they’re afraid of. You don’t know whether they spent last night staring at the ceiling asking God the exact same question you’ve asked: “How am I going to make it through tomorrow?”
So perhaps we could give each other a little more grace. Not because every behavior should be excused. Not because every problem is equally severe. But because every person has a limit, and we rarely know how close someone is to theirs.
If You’re Carrying Something Today
You don’t have to tell yourself someone else has it worse. They probably do. Someone also has it better. Neither changes what you’re facing. Your struggle doesn’t need to win a competition before it deserves compassion. Your burden is heavy because you’re the one carrying it.
And if tonight you find yourself lying awake, trying to figure out how you’re going to solve everything tomorrow, perhaps you don’t need every answer yet. Maybe tonight’s prayer can simply be: “God, give me what I need for today.”
Then tomorrow becomes today. And you pray it again. I can’t promise you that everything will suddenly become easy. Scripture doesn’t promise that either. But I’ve lived long enough to recognize something. There have been plenty of moments when I couldn’t see a way forward. And somehow… God provided a way.
Sometimes at the last minute. Sometimes through circumstances I never anticipated. Sometimes by changing the situation. Sometimes by changing me. So, if you’re wondering how you’re going to survive tomorrow, remember: You aren’t there yet. Carry today. Let tomorrow come when it comes.
And when it does, trust that the God who met you yesterday and carried you into today will already be there.
Go Beyond Blame
We never really know everything another person is carrying. Understanding that doesn’t eliminate accountability, but it can change how we see each other.
If this message resonated with you, Beyond Blame explores how understanding ourselves and others can lead to healthier relationships, greater compassion, and a different way forward.
Available now in The Bookstore as well as online retailers.
